I feel my soul stir, as I breathe in the early Autumn morning air.

There’s a deep gratitude in sensing its come back home.

Or perhaps, what blocked my connection, has left.

There’s still a quietness to it.

If you’ve found your way into personal development at some point in your life, you may have noticed that the focus is on growth. After awhile it might seem like it’s supposed to be a linear steady climb to heal your wounds and overcome your challenges. The beginning of my journey was like this.

If we learn that our emotional pain, like grief, is a burden, then we’ll learn to turn away from it. We’ll also be more prone to turning towards ideologies that reject the reality of our wholeness, which includes our grief.

When I was merged with toxic wellness culture I fed into the lie that I needed to be fixed. This led to me spending 10’s of thousands of dollars on programs, coaches, and healers because I believed they had the answers.

We can merge with wellness culture and take on the “right” language and ways of being, but still lack in our sense of self.

Merging is not healing.

I did this in the beginning. I merged with what was being taught.